Tuesday, November 28, 2006
Loz + Air Conditioner = BFF
It looks as though my dearly adored and worshipped hairdresser has left town without a forwarding address. Finally, after 25 years of bad haircuts I stumble across a man who is clearly a genius with the scissors, and I think my life is complete. Then one day I walk past the salon to find it has turned quite suddenly into a Dick Smith Electronics... which is really a shame because I need a haircut very, very badly and I don't need anything from Dick Smiths. I have decided that the new 'do shall be just like Nic's (Kidman, not Cage).


It's beginning to feel alot like Christmas, in that it's 40 degrees out and the neighbours have had their fairy light paradii in full swing for about 3 weeks already. Actually today was so hot that when I walked the 300 or so metres to the cafe for lunch my feet got sunburnt and I nearly vomited twice. I'm delicate.

I was bored so I took a quiz -

If anyone knows how to fix my lappy keyboard so it stops making my cursor jump randomly over the page as I type so that it's more gibberish than usual, please speak up now.


Sunday, November 26, 2006
I just freeze everytime you see through me

No, really I'm feeling much better today. Thank you for your patience and understanding.
We will now resume normal programming.

There is a new TV show called "You Got The Job!" - I haven't watched it but the basic premise seems to be that it's a reality TV fly-on-the-wall look at a bunch of people applying for jobs. I wish I was shitting you about this... apparently that's the standard we deserve as the viewing public. Or is it that the level of acting ability in this country is so low that we have to resort to this crap?

But aside from that one little thing, things are not too bad.


Saturday, November 25, 2006
What goes up must come down
I figured that all of my positive feelings lately would have some sort of backlash effect, and here it is.

I seem to be disappointing alot of people at the moment. I don't really think that I've pretended to be anyone that I'm not, maybe it's that they've chosen to see me a certain way and when they realise that's not the case they're getting pissed off. At any rate I am constantly feeling that my own feelings don't matter, as long as I put on a happy smile and get excited about something mundane or horrifying to me and everyone else is pleased, then things are OK.

I wish I could say "Here's the thing: I'm not OK all of the time, so don't lay a guilt trip and make out like I owe it to you to be fine. Maybe next time you could try to help instead of making it worse on purpose, or else stay completely away if you don't think you should have to help me."

The truth is that alot of the time I AM fine, but like most people there are times when I feel completely empty, and I have no idea what the point of anything is. There's a fair number of people in my life who don't understand that... so maybe I am the problem afterall.


Thursday, November 23, 2006
I wish that my world was softer and I want a helicopter
Well yesterday was a bit momentous for me in that according to Weight Watchers I've officially lost 20.2kg (or 44lb for the disadvantaged). Sometimes when I'm living weigh-in to weigh-in and meal to meal I lose focus on the bigger picture and I was kind of stunned to see the numbers written in my book. I never imagined when I started this whole thing that I could lose that much weight, even though I set my goal as losing 33kg I could never visualise it happening. Well, now I can.

I've revised my opinion on my The Feeling CD - the greatest song that has ever been recorded is Helicopter. It's possible that's a slight exaggeration, but I can't help but love a song with the line "I'd feel much better I'm sure, if I had a helicopter". I just can't get enough of how these guys put their songs together... it's crazy.

Tomorrow I get to go shopping instead of going to work. How do you like them apples?



Tuesday, November 21, 2006
You deserve to get your wish but you don't know what it is
I have fallen in love with The Feeling. I bought the album on the basis of Never Be Lonely and it's many addictive qualities, but soon discovered I owned one hell of a CD. It's quirky, it's poppy, it's boppy, it's moody, it's taken up permanent residence in my car. If you do choose to take my advice I also recommend the songs I Want You Now and Fill My Little World.

And that's really all I have to report.


Monday, November 13, 2006
So, you like..... stuff?
I found out a few days ago that I have a gallstone, and as such before too long I will be without my gall bladder. I haven't thought about it in too much detail at this stage so I'm not worried, but you just wait until the reality of my impending surgery sinks in! I haven't been any further than the emergency department since I was 4, and it's not really something I had on my 'to-do' list, if you know what I mean. At the moment my greatest concern is having to use a bedpan, but I think the whole "having part of myself removed" thing will take over soon.

Still, all of this pales dismally in comparison to the death of Belinda Emmett. It hasn't been a good year for Australian celebs, and she really was a beautiful, brave and inspirational lady.

This ad is not funny or thought-provoking or anything like that, but I find it soothing. Ah, the serenity.


Tuesday, November 07, 2006
Good News!
I just perfected my Katie Holmes pose! Don't say I never give you anything.



Sunday, November 05, 2006
My new favourite thing...
... is Vimrod.


Saturday, November 04, 2006
Corny but true
It makes me sad that 2006 is nearing its end. I need to make the most of the remaining precious few weeks because this year has been very good to me, and there's no guarantee 2007 will be quite so generous.
I think I will remember 2006 as the year I realised that life is not, in fact, all that difficult. At the risk of sounding like Roberto Benigni, it's possible that life could even be... beautiful?


Friday, November 03, 2006
Warning: this post may induce nausea and homicidal urges
I have resisted posting about this because it seems like such an obvious blog topic, but fuck it, I am angry and I feel like expressing it.

The leader of the Muslims in Australia is a real shitferbrains by the name of Sheik something something al-Hilaly. If I cared what his name was I might be bothered typing it. Anyway, he is the Mufti.

So this stupid Muftiman gives a speech/sermon type dealy at the end of Ramadan, some excerpts of which are below. The mention of men getting 65 years in prison is in reference to the sentences that were handed down to the Islamic ringleaders of some really horrifying gang rape attacks on young girls in Sydney.

But when it comes to adultery, it's 90 per cent the women's responsibility. Why? Because a woman possesses the weapon of seduction. It is she who takes off her clothes, shortens them, flirts, puts on make-up and powder and takes to the streets, God protect us, dallying. It's she who shortens, raises and lowers. Then it's a look, then a smile, then a conversation, a greeting, then a conversation, then a date, then a meeting, then a crime, then Long Bay jail. (laughs).

Then you get a judge, who has no mercy, and he gives you 65 years.

But when it comes to this disaster, who started it? In his literature, scholar al-Rafihi says: 'If I came across a rape crime – kidnap and violation of honour – I would discipline the man and order that the woman be arrested and jailed for life.' Why would you do this, Rafihi? He says because if she had not left the meat uncovered, the cat wouldn't have snatched it."

"If you take a kilo of meat, and you don't put it in the fridge or in the pot or in the kitchen but you leave it on a plate in the backyard, and then you have a fight with the neighbour because his cats eat the meat, you're crazy. Isn't this true?

"If you take uncovered meat and put it on the street, on the pavement, in a garden, in a park or in the backyard, without a cover and the cats eat it, is it the fault of the cat or the uncovered meat? The uncovered meat is the problem.

"If the meat was covered, the cats wouldn't roam around it. If the meat is inside the fridge, they won't get it.

"If the meat was in the fridge and it (the cat) smelled it, it can bang its head as much as it wants, but it's no use.

"If the woman is in her boudoir, in her house and if she's wearing the veil and if she shows modesty, disasters don't happen.

"That's why he said she owns the weapon of seduction.

"Satan sees women as half his soldiers. You're my messenger to achieve my needs. Satan tells women you're my weapon to bring down any stubborn man. There are men that I fail with. But you're the best of my weapons.

"The woman was behind Satan playing a role when she disobeyed God and went out all dolled up and unveiled and made of herself palatable food that rakes and perverts would race for. She was the reason behind this sin taking place."


So... to recap:
  • A woman who is raped should be jailed for life because it's her own fault for being attractive, and she shouldn't have left her room in the first place.
  • A man does not have to take responsibility for his own actions and lack of morals, self-control and basic human decency - clearly the woman is to blame because she is the best of the devil's weapons.
  • If you see something you want, just take it. Whether it be a kilo of meat on a plate in a park (?) or a person, feel free to take and/or use it at your will. You're entitled.

And what is happening now? The Mufti has said that he would like to be tried by a court of ethics, and if it is found that what he said was unethical, he will resign from his post, wear masking tape over his mouth in public for 6 months and do 600 hours of community service helping women.
Message to Sheik al-Hilaly:
Firstly, put the damn tape on now you stupid ridiculous tool, and secondly, no woman in the world wants YOU anywhere near her. Heaven forbid you should have to help a woman in a skirt with no hijab. You might accidentally have a conversation with her, and we all know a conversation is a direct invitation for sex. 'No' is the new 'yes', right?


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