Firstly, thank you to everyone who commented for me on the last post, I don't know what to say to explain how much it helped and how much it means to me. The blog world gives you just enough anonimity to open up about the worst parts of yourself, and to have so many generous and thoughtful people take the time to comment has helped me a great deal. I went to see my doctor about the things that are bothering me, and while he does agree that I am suffering from depression he basically said unless I'm about to kill myself he's not prescribing any medication. I really should decide now if I'm going to a different doctor, or if I'm going to just do what this doctor told me to do: read a book about depression and look up some useful depression-related websites. Now I'm not saying that doctors should prescribe medication everytime someone says they're unhappy, but I do feel like he's given me the brush-off.
Over the past week I've been reasonably happy; catching up on sleep (but not in a depressed, sleep all day way), getting some excercise, trying to eat something other than Burger Rings and Coke, listening to Stevie Wonder and enjoying my new shoes. I've decided to bite the bullet and make a - gasp! - public appearance at Ladies Day at the races. I went out on the weekend and bought the new ensemble, with the greatest teal shoes ever created. I even have a feathery fascinator. I know I may feel extremely, excruciatingly uncomfortable being out there in a public "oh my god look at what she's wearing!" sort of place, but part of my problem is that I've stopped doing anything that scares me. I am going to be 50 and living at home with my mum, and she'll be my only friend. So things have to change. I'll also be doing an 8-week course with a friend from work about managing emotions and assertiveness and all sorts of healthy, well-adjusted things like that. All that being said, not all the times are good times, and I have lots of work yet to do to get back to feeling consistently good.
And as Homer Simpson says: "I am NOT too fat! I'm alive, aren't I?"
Over the past week I've been reasonably happy; catching up on sleep (but not in a depressed, sleep all day way), getting some excercise, trying to eat something other than Burger Rings and Coke, listening to Stevie Wonder and enjoying my new shoes. I've decided to bite the bullet and make a - gasp! - public appearance at Ladies Day at the races. I went out on the weekend and bought the new ensemble, with the greatest teal shoes ever created. I even have a feathery fascinator. I know I may feel extremely, excruciatingly uncomfortable being out there in a public "oh my god look at what she's wearing!" sort of place, but part of my problem is that I've stopped doing anything that scares me. I am going to be 50 and living at home with my mum, and she'll be my only friend. So things have to change. I'll also be doing an 8-week course with a friend from work about managing emotions and assertiveness and all sorts of healthy, well-adjusted things like that. All that being said, not all the times are good times, and I have lots of work yet to do to get back to feeling consistently good.
And as Homer Simpson says: "I am NOT too fat! I'm alive, aren't I?"
8 Comments:
I'm glad you're starting to feel better. I don't do things that scare me either.
Let's see these shoes already.
Also - What's a burger ring?
Good one Loz! Pleased you're feeling up. With regards to meds for depression I have to say I'm with your Doctor on this one. In the UK they dole them out like Smarties and often don't help (not in my case anyway - and depression can be very different for different people) in the long term. The side effects can be pretty unpleasant too. One thing that worked for me, and it's something learned as part of CBT, was to understand what it was that made me feel better about myself and how it changed my self image. Then refer back to it to change your self perceptions the next time things start to look bleak. Depression can make reality appear very skewed.
Homer Simpson rocks.
I watched that episode of simpsons last night too, and how much are you LOVING biggest loser?!?!
When I was going through a scary medical crisis the worst thing I could have done (and did repeatedly) was look it up on the internet because I got a lot of information that didn't apply to me and had nothing to do with what I had, just similar symptoms.
Your doctor may be right, and you may not need drugs but i'm surprised he didn't recommend a therapist.
Also, AUSSIE AUSSIE AUSSIE!!!
GO COMMONWEALTH GAMES!!!
Loz! I visited and forgot to comment.
Hi, Lozzie! UberElder is vomiting into a bucket... gotta go!
Nick: mmm burger rings
Mondo: I have days where I feel like the non-medication way is the best route, and then I have other days like every one this week where I have been crying at work. It's not so much that WORK is upsetting me, but my whole perception of myself, other people, and everything else... hard to explain what I mean but in short I just don't think I'm coping. It isn't the fact that someone speaks to me badly, or that I've made a mistake that sets me off, it's every part of my life compounded until I can't see a mistake for what it is. For me it's a disaster.
Kallun: and now in Spanish, por favor?
LMK: I don't watch BL alot, I did see it a couple of times this week and I have to say I don't like these people! I like Adro but that's about it, everyone else is pissing me off. Bob and Jillian said during an interview somewhere that in the US the contestants are there to lose weight and change their lives, but on our version of the show the contestants are just there to make sure someone else doesn't win the 'game'.
Also, C'MON AUSSIE, C'MON, C'MON!
Ubes: It could be worse. You could have said she was vomiting into the ming vase, or DVD player. Hope everyone's feeling better!
WBB: The UK may be doing alright but are surely not up to the arse-kicking Australia is handing out to the entire Commonwealth. This is the only thing that makes me sort of half-maybe want to not become a Republic. Having said that, if we had another referendum tomorrow I'd vote against the Queen again!
a lot of the annoying people are getting booted off BL and its the bottom of the barrel for reality tv, thats why I love it.
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