OK so it's 7 minutes into the 1st quarter and it looks like the Swans have forgotten to take to the field. Where are they? Maybe getting Maccas for lunch??
Hang on... I see one of our players now! He just fumbled the ball in the goal square and let some poofy West Coast player tap it through for 6 points. Fuck.
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Q1 - 15 minutes in:
It seems like the Swannies have BBQ sauce or some other form of condiment all over their hands. That ball sure is slippery. We've been given 2 free kicks inside our 50 - the umpires obviously want to give us a fighting chance - but haven't been able to score more than 1 point. Oh thank christ - we just got our first goal. 19-8 West Coast.
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Quarter Time:
How many bloody easy shots at goal can we miss?! Aim for the big sticks, boys, not the little ones! I'm not worried, I know my Swannies can do this, I'm just wondering when exactly they're going to start playing. 26-10 West Coast.
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Half Time:
This is 12 kinds of bad. But they'll be OK. They just need to remember their team mates are wearing red and white - never, ever pass the ball to someone wearing blue and yellow. I know Roosy will know what to tell them at the half time break... "Play some decent footy or I'll fucking mail you back to Sydney in a thermos" might work? 55-30 West Coast.
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Three Quarter Time:
This game is giving me chest pains. We seem to have sparked up since the half time break though, my boys are actually pulling some magical plays out of nowhere. There's something about watching the Swans play that makes me want to attack their opponents and perforate their faces with a seriously spikey pair of footy boots. Grr. 70-59 West Coast.
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Full Time:
It's not losing the Grand Final that sucks so bad, it's losing it by 1 point. I could just murder someone... and I think I'd like it to be Ted-fucking-Richards. See if you can learn to play the game before next season dude. 85-84 West Coast.
Hang on... I see one of our players now! He just fumbled the ball in the goal square and let some poofy West Coast player tap it through for 6 points. Fuck.
------
Q1 - 15 minutes in:
It seems like the Swannies have BBQ sauce or some other form of condiment all over their hands. That ball sure is slippery. We've been given 2 free kicks inside our 50 - the umpires obviously want to give us a fighting chance - but haven't been able to score more than 1 point. Oh thank christ - we just got our first goal. 19-8 West Coast.
------
Quarter Time:
How many bloody easy shots at goal can we miss?! Aim for the big sticks, boys, not the little ones! I'm not worried, I know my Swannies can do this, I'm just wondering when exactly they're going to start playing. 26-10 West Coast.
------
Half Time:
This is 12 kinds of bad. But they'll be OK. They just need to remember their team mates are wearing red and white - never, ever pass the ball to someone wearing blue and yellow. I know Roosy will know what to tell them at the half time break... "Play some decent footy or I'll fucking mail you back to Sydney in a thermos" might work? 55-30 West Coast.
------
Three Quarter Time:
This game is giving me chest pains. We seem to have sparked up since the half time break though, my boys are actually pulling some magical plays out of nowhere. There's something about watching the Swans play that makes me want to attack their opponents and perforate their faces with a seriously spikey pair of footy boots. Grr. 70-59 West Coast.
------
Full Time:
It's not losing the Grand Final that sucks so bad, it's losing it by 1 point. I could just murder someone... and I think I'd like it to be Ted-fucking-Richards. See if you can learn to play the game before next season dude. 85-84 West Coast.
1 Comments:
I came back from Melbourne Friday night and I was sad that Bris-vegas didn't have the same sea of scarves and parades and such, because it made Melbourne that much more fun.
sorry your swannies didn't win, but at least you brought me some entertainment with that post!
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