Sunday, February 26, 2006
I've done it again. I have managed to get the worst possible haircut in the history of the universe. Don't these hairdressers know that the happiness and confidence and mental health of their customers are in their hands? I'm in hiding.
I'm sure there's interesting stuff happening all over the place, but if you'll excuse me I need to get back to the mirror and try to will my hair to grow.
Tuesday, February 21, 2006
... then don't do it here.
In the past week or so, the bodies of 3 people who have been dead for over 6 months have been found in their homes. That's right, their 3 different homes. In fact on the news they were just describing them as skeletons. One woman was found still sitting at her dining table.
These were 3 people from different parts of the city/state who had no one in the world checking up on them for six months. No one noticed they were missing for half a year, no one tried to find them or call the police or anything. It makes me wonder how a life can end that way - with no family or friends or neighbours caring about you, no mail stacking up in the letterbox...
Of course there are lots of people with their heads on the news saying that there needs to be some sort of organisation that is responsible for checking up on the elderly! Everytime I hear that - that the government should be doing a roll-call of old people - I can hear Homer Simpson saying "Can't Someone Else Do It?". Why does someone else need to be responsible for making sure our fellow humans are at the very least ALIVE?
Sunday, February 19, 2006
And really, I wasn't lying. I
do crave attention, which is why I am doing this Johari Window thing that's now all the rage. You can
go here to tell me what you really think.
Man I am sick of this heat. I find myself watching the Winter Olympics just to imagine laying naked on the bobsleigh track. In theory the temperatures here are not all that bad, but in reality there's the humidity and there's the hot northerly winds which really just feel like someone is breathing on you, and there's the never ending hotness of it all. I'm sure if I had air conditioning I wouldn't mind at all, but after 3 months of this weather it starts to get a bit desperate and before you know it you're having ice fantasies.
Tuesday, February 14, 2006
Much to her horror,
LMK is discovering that as a nation, Australia cares
not at all for the Winter Olympics. It's hard to feel enthused about sports that we don't play, and snow that we never have, and also to cheer on the French. Give us a cricket pitch, or a tennis court, a pool, an ocean, some temperatures above zero, and we'll compete at an adequate level and lose to the Americans. But Winter sports are not our forte.
This brings me to the heroic tale of Australia's greatest ever Winter Olympian. He's a king among men, a mighty competitor and legend to many. He is Steven Bradbury.
Picture this: Salt Lake City, 2002. It looked as though Australia would never win a gold medal at any of these silly Winter games - mostly because we were crap, and partly because we didn't care. Then came Steven. He was in the final of the 1000m speed skater thingy (a feat he only achieved because he managed to finish the heat) - and let's face it, no one knew or cared. But then every other competitor on the track crashed into each other and fell over, and Steven skated calmly over the finish line from last place, as a Gold Medal Winner.
If you want the story of our first ever Winter Olympic medal, it was a Bronze in a similar event in 1994, and we won it because Canada fell over. Steven Bradbury was in that team, too.
Fear not, LMK. The Commonwealth Games are nearly upon us. Aussie Aussie Aussie! Oi oi oi!
Monday, February 13, 2006
Courtesy of
Brooke, I now have the answer I've been searching for...
| You Don't Have a Boyfriend Because You are Too Shy |
When a guy gets to know you, he finds a great catch
Problem is... you're too shy for most guys to get to know.
From meeting someone to dating, you usually have your guard up.
And while you're just holding back, it makes you seem like you've got something to hide. |
But, I still stand by my previous belief that "Guys don't make passes at girls with fat asses".
Sunday, February 12, 2006
...and I know who has deleted me from their blogrolls.
In my absence from the Narrow Universe of Blog, I have:
- Married Roger Federer
- Won $21.4 million on Keno
- Lost $1.4 million in small change, note to self 'check under the sofa cushions'
- Been voted "World's Sexiest Woman" 3 times
- Translated 138 Harlequin Romance novels into Aramaic
- Discovered that there is a movie about the Brady Bunch in the White House
- Marvelled at the new hats of handsome Anthony and strapping young TFG
- Had my hands eaten off while feeding a dinosaur
- Melted
So nice to see you again, non-deleters.
