This is shit

Census night is coming up again next week - I've always liked census night because it feels like someone, somewhere would like to know who I am, and that's refreshing.

In 2001 I completed the optional question on my religion with the answer "Jedi". I have no intention of answering the question truthfully, so I'm hoping that one of the handful of people who still read this can think up a new entertaining response for me.

The other optional question is whether or not you consent to having all of your census information stored on microfilm and locked up in a time capsule for 99 years. Hell yes. At the rate my life is going there isn't going to be any other reason why someone should know my name in 99 years. I'm quite looking forward to a bunch of future-people in shiny silver jumpsuits reading about me from the sacred historical documents, before jumping into their hover cars and wooshing off into space.

New Toy: Unconscious Mutterings

1. Requirements :: Needs
2. Pizza :: Fat
3. Dating :: Alone
4. Issue :: Magazine
5. Sharp :: Tongue
6. Distinguish :: Extinguish
7. Remote :: Control
8. Felony :: Melanie
9. Exercise :: No
10. Choose :: Me, Please

Chareth Cutestory: Pirate Lawyer

Yeah, guess what I've been watching. And now all of you will have the name Chareth Cutestory stuck in your head for days, and days, and days. Maybe forever.

You might remember that back in March I set myself the goal of kissing someone (aka having a pash) before Christmas. That might sound simple enough but at the time I was very overweight, with little to no self esteem and never went out to meet people because I didn't think I belonged out in public with the attractive people. Today I am still somewhat overweight (though less so than when I set myself the goal), have a little self esteem back, and figure I belong anywhere I damn well please. Long story short, I have achieved that goal, with time to spare. In fact, I have so much time left til my deadline that next time I might try to get an enjoyable pash, just to mix it up a little.

This weekend I saw 2 movies: the dumbest movie ever made (My Super Ex-Girlfriend) and one of the best (Pirates of the Caribbean 2). I thought Pirates was a little long (because I was desperately needing to go to the loo) and really, REALLY gross, but it was so awesome in every other way that it didn't matter. I can't wait for Pirates 3.

Remember: Chareth Cutestory.

I've been wondering...

Make it stop, for the love of god, make it stop!

I'm not one of those movie-snob types, I'll watch almost anything from the smallest indie film to the biggest blockbuster, but I know when something is crap and I'll say so. I don't pretend to like stupid indie films just because they're independent, I don't pretend to like blockbusters just because everyone else does, I just like what I like. Truth be told, some people think I have bad taste in movies (whatever, Anchorman was funny). So we have it pretty clear now, I AM NOT AN ELITIST MOVIE SNOB, but I have to get something off my chest...

WHO THE FUCK PAYS THOSE WAYANS MAKE THIS SHIT? WHY? AND FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, WHO WATCHES IT???

30% hotter than before

10kg gone forever. 10 whole kilos. That's 22 pounds, people!
Obviously the extremely funny t-shirt above has nothing to do with anything, but it's still funny.