5 days of dieting, haven't lost even 1g so far. Hmmmmm.
Keep on keepin' on.
Keep on keepin' on.
Thursday, January 07, 2010
Monday, January 04, 2010
Tonight I had the most delicious pizza - Chicken Avocado Tick from Crust. It's the second lowest point pizza on the menu (I tried to talk myself into the Baby Spinach Tick but no can do) and half of the medium pizza is a pretty low point dinner - 6.5
I was trying it as a bit of an experiment really, as I'm off to the gastro specialist tomorrow about my digestive problems and Crust pizza has always left me feeling the pain, unless I order gluten free. I thought if I triggered a little episode of my normal symptoms so I could show the doctor what I'm talking about, it might help. Having said that, the Tick pizzas come on wholemeal base, not the white pain inducing one, so in all likelihood it might not have made me sick anyway. So far, no symptoms, but this is my first time with wholemeal so only time will tell.
Of course I did kick my addiction to a nasty poison about 2 weeks ago, and haven't had a single stomach problem since. Perhaps it isn't gluten that's been the drama this whole time... but more on that tomorrow after I see the gastro man!
Pretty much sticking to my points - sad to say only 4 days in and I'm not being very regimented - but owing to still being on holidays I have been able to go for a walk during the day so I do have a little leeway to play with. I really do have to stop buying the olive bread from the supermarket, it's so hard to stop myself from eating it once it's in the house. Mango Weis bars have been my saviour so far, completely delicious, cold and only 1 point.
I was trying it as a bit of an experiment really, as I'm off to the gastro specialist tomorrow about my digestive problems and Crust pizza has always left me feeling the pain, unless I order gluten free. I thought if I triggered a little episode of my normal symptoms so I could show the doctor what I'm talking about, it might help. Having said that, the Tick pizzas come on wholemeal base, not the white pain inducing one, so in all likelihood it might not have made me sick anyway. So far, no symptoms, but this is my first time with wholemeal so only time will tell.
Of course I did kick my addiction to a nasty poison about 2 weeks ago, and haven't had a single stomach problem since. Perhaps it isn't gluten that's been the drama this whole time... but more on that tomorrow after I see the gastro man!
Pretty much sticking to my points - sad to say only 4 days in and I'm not being very regimented - but owing to still being on holidays I have been able to go for a walk during the day so I do have a little leeway to play with. I really do have to stop buying the olive bread from the supermarket, it's so hard to stop myself from eating it once it's in the house. Mango Weis bars have been my saviour so far, completely delicious, cold and only 1 point.
Saturday, January 02, 2010
I gave in to the temptation of weighing myself this morning - ridiculous, I know. How much weight can someone lose through 1 day of dieting? 200g... which teaches me to be patient and only weigh myself once a week on Friday morning.
Today feels like more of a struggle than yesterday, for some reason. I think it's probably a tough time of year to start a diet because I'm not at work and so these nice long days stretch ahead of me asking to be filled with food. The upside of it is that being at home we can cook up something nice on the BBQ for lunch, so I feel like I am having something exciting rather than something overtly diety.
We got the groceries this morning, which is good because I am stocked up on low fat milk and healthy snacks and all that stuff. In my year of gluttony I did get somewhat used to picking up some nice little extras with the weekly shop, and I missed being able to do that today. Time to break the old habits though, and to start up the old OLD habits again.
I've done it before, afterall. How hard can it be?
Today feels like more of a struggle than yesterday, for some reason. I think it's probably a tough time of year to start a diet because I'm not at work and so these nice long days stretch ahead of me asking to be filled with food. The upside of it is that being at home we can cook up something nice on the BBQ for lunch, so I feel like I am having something exciting rather than something overtly diety.
We got the groceries this morning, which is good because I am stocked up on low fat milk and healthy snacks and all that stuff. In my year of gluttony I did get somewhat used to picking up some nice little extras with the weekly shop, and I missed being able to do that today. Time to break the old habits though, and to start up the old OLD habits again.
I've done it before, afterall. How hard can it be?
Friday, January 01, 2010
The blog is still here? Given that no one is still reading it, I figure this is a nice place to use as my new journal.
I must say it is a little sad to read back on my thoughts of April/May 2007 when I was so close to reaching my goal weight. For a split second I felt a sense of pride about how much weight I lost in the end, but I think that was kind of a flashback of my feelings at the time. The girl who wrote about being frustrated at still having to lose 2kg back then would be horribly disappointed in the fat girl typing this out now. But as this is a new year, it is time for a new attitude, and I have to stop the landslide before someone gets hurt.
As of this morning I set myself the goal of losing 18kg - again. I already lost it once before, but it found me again during what I can only describe as the best year of my life. When I realised I was gaining weight again, I panicked - a whole 5kg to lose! How impossible, this is terrible!! But weeks and months crept by, and I stepped on the scales once more, this time it's 10kg to lose. Much tougher... a few days of dieting followed by months of not dieting, and we arrive at the nice fat figure of nearly 20 kegs.
I remember promising myself back in the skinny days that I would never again have to lose so much weight. I was going to be vigilant in never gaining more than 3 or 4 kg, I was so confident in my new found status as a skinny girl, nothing could have taken it away from me.
It's been about 16 months now since I stopped watching my weight and started "enjoying my life" - and it certainly did start out that way. I wasn't even aware of when the enjoyment stopped, and the shame began, but it's been months now since I realised how awful I feel about the way I look, the way the fat feels as it wraps itself back around me, and yet another size of clothing refuses to fit. I look back on the little pants and tiny tops I was wearing with no problems 2 years ago, and I am angry with myself for what I've let happen.
Anger is rarely useful though, and to be honest I think I've been punishing myself by getting even fatter (something that would only make sense to a person who has always struggled with their weight). For those in my boat, logic about calories and fat and exercise always trails after the first instinct to eat your feelings of shame and disappointment and anger. So I officially call an end to the anger.
I declare today that I will not get fatter from here. I will check in to this journal every day to remind myself why I am here.
I will do what I know how to do, I will be skinny again in 2010.
I must say it is a little sad to read back on my thoughts of April/May 2007 when I was so close to reaching my goal weight. For a split second I felt a sense of pride about how much weight I lost in the end, but I think that was kind of a flashback of my feelings at the time. The girl who wrote about being frustrated at still having to lose 2kg back then would be horribly disappointed in the fat girl typing this out now. But as this is a new year, it is time for a new attitude, and I have to stop the landslide before someone gets hurt.
As of this morning I set myself the goal of losing 18kg - again. I already lost it once before, but it found me again during what I can only describe as the best year of my life. When I realised I was gaining weight again, I panicked - a whole 5kg to lose! How impossible, this is terrible!! But weeks and months crept by, and I stepped on the scales once more, this time it's 10kg to lose. Much tougher... a few days of dieting followed by months of not dieting, and we arrive at the nice fat figure of nearly 20 kegs.
I remember promising myself back in the skinny days that I would never again have to lose so much weight. I was going to be vigilant in never gaining more than 3 or 4 kg, I was so confident in my new found status as a skinny girl, nothing could have taken it away from me.
It's been about 16 months now since I stopped watching my weight and started "enjoying my life" - and it certainly did start out that way. I wasn't even aware of when the enjoyment stopped, and the shame began, but it's been months now since I realised how awful I feel about the way I look, the way the fat feels as it wraps itself back around me, and yet another size of clothing refuses to fit. I look back on the little pants and tiny tops I was wearing with no problems 2 years ago, and I am angry with myself for what I've let happen.
Anger is rarely useful though, and to be honest I think I've been punishing myself by getting even fatter (something that would only make sense to a person who has always struggled with their weight). For those in my boat, logic about calories and fat and exercise always trails after the first instinct to eat your feelings of shame and disappointment and anger. So I officially call an end to the anger.
I declare today that I will not get fatter from here. I will check in to this journal every day to remind myself why I am here.
I will do what I know how to do, I will be skinny again in 2010.
